“Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.”
Harriet Tubman
I’ve coached individuals across a broad spectrum; CEOs, Managing Directors, Marketing Directors, Account Directors, Entrepreneurs, Managers, Senior Lecturers, Academics, Physiotherapists, Psychotherapists, Coaches…the list goes on!
This past year has taught me so many things about myself and the world around me. Coaching has allowed me to understand the human psyche on a far deeper level. The ability to connect with people beneath the surface is an amazing thing. As you break the common trend of small talk, you connect with each other on a soul level and the space in that moment is very special. In modern day society, when life moves so quickly, you seldom get the chance to spend an hour or more talking about the things that really matter. For me, it’s a very humbling experience to be in a position to help another human being in such a personal way. I wake up each day grateful for all of my clients and the opportunities I have.
On a personal level, I’ve experienced so much growth over the past year. The more time I spend coaching the more I learn about myself and the wide range of subjects discussed during sessions; business, finances, psychology, philosophy, neuroscience, spirituality, meditation, rituals, habits, thoughts, feelings, communication, time, relationships, FREEDOM … I’ve never learned so much in a single year!!!!
I have an unquenchable thirst for learning and it feels like my mind is evolving faster than my business …keeping up with myself remains my biggest challenge!!
Over the past year, life has not all been a bed of roses. Naturally with change comes growth, and with growth you almost certainly experience what I call “growing pains”.
Launching a business, becoming a Dad, three house moves and several hospital visits with our new born in the space of 12 months all present their own challenges. Maintaining a positive mindset and finding solutions to overcome these challenges is a test and within each test there is always a lesson!
These experiences have led to further growth and I am better prepared, with my family, for the next time life chooses to throw us a curve ball. My own personal willpower and mental resilience has been stretched and like a muscle being stretched in the gym, it comes back stronger and stronger.
The experiences faced over the past 12 months have also impacted, in a very positive way, on our family life. There have been many times of uncertainty and we have felt the fear of the ‘unknown’ on so many occasions. However we have embraced the challenges and it has
made us even stronger as a unit, where we communicate our feelings and reflect on the challenges faced, asking “what did we learn?” and “what is the lesson?”
These two great questions are in line with Carol Dweck’s theory growth mindset v fixed mindset,
We have adopted this philosophy as a family and will continue to do so as it is a game-changer!
Before the birth of our daughter, we also read an amazing short book called The Parents Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parenting. There is lot of synergy between this book and Carol Dweck’s theory – I would highly recommend checking them both out!!
Most of us experienced Growing Pains as kids, “neuralgic pains which occur in the limbs of some young children”, I certainly did. Maybe it was a reflection on me as an individual, the universe setting the tone for my life and always looking to outgrow my current state. Writing this post brought that realisation to my attention. Is this a coincidence I ask myself? I think not! I’ve always been looking to grow quicker than seemed possible in any moment. It’s what keeps driving me forward towards my own version of enlightenment.
Growing Pains are experienced by my clients too. It’s not uncommon for clients to feel emotional and uncomfortable at points during the coaching partnership, especially when self-realisations come to the surface. This is only natural in all parts of the process to grow and develop.
What’s a little pain for a huge amount of gain right!?
As human beings we are very good at compartmentalising thoughts, feelings and emotions, bottling them up and repeating self-sabotage over and over without recognising that we have a choice, a choice to change the way we think, act, behave and respond.
Holocaust survivor and renowned psychologist Viktor Frankl says:
“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
When you start to become more conscious and self-aware, sometimes the toughest part is being honest with yourself and realising that there are options to be different, to create a new and improved version of yourself, your true self!
We don’t have to continue on the same path we have always travelled due to perceived expectations, we can make progress by adapting, learning and changing.
Although I love to talk about the ‘fluffy’ stuff and the so-called ‘soft-skills’ such as gratitude, I love that it is a soft skill yet, it has been scientifically proven to change a hard-wired brain!
My coaching style and approach has an edge to it. I am not frightened to ask the “Why” question, delving deep into the real reason and meaning behind a behaviour, thought, feeling and action. In a world where we very rarely challenge the status quo and march along to the merry beat of the masses, I think it is so important not only to challenge our own thoughts, feelings and actions on a daily basis but also to challenge that of the world around us.
I’m inspired to help create a future that promotes oneness, peace and love but for this to happen we have to start asking some serious questions about ourselves and others, particularly the governments that are responsible for running our world!
What type of world do we want our children to grow up in??
For me it is one that doesn’t create unnecessary ‘growing pains’ such as depression, anxiety, stress, hatred, war, terrorism, stereotype, prejudice, racism and all the other the other ridiculous / insidious things we have created as a race.
If we all grow together then we can share and talk openly about our growing pains.
My coaching style is intuitive, direct, compassionate and thought-provoking, asking challenging questions that move my clients into a new state of being and doing. In every session I dedicate myself to my clients, setting the following intention before each session ‘Please allow me to serve this client to the best of my ability, providing them with a powerful coaching experience that will positively impact them and the people around them.”
There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered.’
Nelson Mandela
